Grooming: Practical Guidelines

Previously, I introduced the topic of grooming and why you should even care about it. Now, without further ado, let’s jump into practical ways we can cultivate grooming habits.

The meat of the matter.

When I think about grooming, I have always considered these things: Skin, Hair, Nails, Attire, and Countenance. However, the first thing I should establish is that without a healthy lifestyle, grooming makes no sense. In fact, living a healthy life is grooming 101.

A Healthy Lifestyle

You have probably come across the saying, ‘You are what you eat’. And I don’t think one needs to be reminded of its truthfulness. Everyone has experienced looking like junk after weeks or months on a horrible diet.

Living a healthy lifestyle is not just to keep a healthy weight. Good foods and an active life actually make you look and feel better. As a student of physiology, I can attest to the mechanisms of activity and a good diet in making your skin and hair shine, improving your mood, raising your self-perception, enhancing brain functions, etc.

However, I can also testify that sometimes, life gets in the way, and makes it impossible to eat healthy or be active.

Currently, I am a student. So, I often spend hours on my study desk, immobile. And as one who dislikes workout regimes, diet programs, and the like, I have often struggled to commit to a specific diet/exercise program. When I fail to keep to the plan, I can’t help feeling horrible. But the times I succeed, my regimen still ends up feeling like a gruesome chore.

It was all hopeless until I discovered the art of French living. The French diet is a topic to which I will dedicate a separate article one day, but just to steal some advice from the French: If keeping an exercise and diet regime is impossible for you, give up, friend. But don’t give up. Moderation is the key to a healthy lifestyle. Eat natural foods like meat, dairy, fruits, and veggies; skip the fat-free cheeses and yogurts (they make you more hungry); once in a while, moderately indulge in your favorite treat; and exercise while doing the things you love. Do you like biking? There you go, do that more often. Are you a fan of hiking? Hike to your heart’s content. Do you take the long route to school or work every day? Enjoy it and consider walking some days if you drive more often.

Everyone can do that, can’t they?

I have learned from the French that keeping a healthy lifestyle should make you happy, not miserable. And being happy means doing or having the things you love. What better way to look and feel great?

Skin, Hair, and Nails

Now, trust me, once you commit to keeping a healthy enjoyable lifestyle, your body will start to do the rest of the work. At least, most of it.

The skin, hair, and nails are the broadcasters of health and vitality in a person. They are the extremities of your body and are not as crucial to your survival as the other organs (e.g. Liver, brain, heart, etc.) are. Therefore, the skin, hair, and nails are the last parts of your system to get available nutrients. Under a good lifestyle, there are abundant nutrients circulating in the body and more than enough to spare for these extremities. For these reasons, you will notice an increase in natural hair growth/shine and skin glow when living a healthy lifestyle.

However, grooming helps you trim up and look your better best. When the body has provided the raw slate, it is left for grooming to enhance it.

There is already so much advice on how to make your hair, skin, and nails look externally pretty, but as I have often found, most of these pieces of advice include the prompt to purchase expensive skin/hair care that most of us cannot afford. So, how can you look pretty on a budget? How can you look high-class without designers in your wardrobe?

The first key is to master the basics of skin and hair care, and the ethics of nail dressing. People often underestimate the power of maintaining a simple skin or hair care routine, even though women have always had it. You hear of vintage cold creams, perfumes, Victorian makeup products, etc. Seldom have women left their skin untreated with a little something to enhance their look. Mind you that there are varieties of recommended routines, based on your skin type or hair curl profile, but after researching I have found that all of these routines have certain things in common:

Start with considering daily baths. It keeps your body and skin looking fresh. I know you can always reapply deodorant and body cream, but as someone who takes daily baths, I can assure you it’s worth it.

Find a skincare routine that works for you and live by it. Most routines will involve face wash, toner application, base serum application (like niacinamide, retinol, vitamin C, etc.), face moisturizing, and sunscreen application. That is the minimal and it’s the exact routine I stick to.

Use body lotions and deodorants that make you smell great and are made with natural oils like shea butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, etc. It makes your skin shine and provides a good base for perfume application.

Concerning perfumes and fragrances, a good tip I learned from my sister is to use fragrances that have the same or similar scent notes to your body lotion/deodorant. This enhances the duration of your perfume scent and gives you that extra signature scent.

Another thing concerning perfumes is to avoid masculine or hard-scenting fragrances. It kills feminine mystique. Opt for lighter scent notes like vanilla, or various fruity fragrances.

Wash your hair regularly and do everything you can to fight dandruff. If you struggle with dandruff, like I do, consider washing it even more frequently and putting your hair in styles that hide that dilemma. As someone with a 4c hair type, I usually don’t leave my hair flying, so that isn’t a problem for me. However, if you prefer many let-down hairstyles, consider visiting a beautician or dermatologist for dandruff treatments. Dandruff is a total beauty murderer.

Regarding hairstyles, one thing I have found is that growing your hair long is the best way to instantly induce your feminine look. Long hair is an achievable goal for all hair types. However, taking inspiration from vintage looks, short hairstyles can also be done, but they must have a feminine cut, such as curled bobs or enhanced curls. Ideally, the cut should be flattering to the shape of your face.

Please, brush your teeth every morning and consider freshening your breath every once in a while, especially after meals. If you want to go the extra mile for your smile, daily flossing and nightly brushes before bed can go a long way. Bad breath not only makes you less sociable, but it lowers your esteem in the eyes of others because most people won’t tell you that you have bad breath. So, make sure you don’t have one.

Shave your armpit hair when it starts to become noticeable. I am not big on shaving pubic hair completely or applying shave creams on those sensitive areas. Pubic hair has some protective purposes in your reproductive organ, so my advice is to cut it low but never shave it all off.

Leg hair is a big contention. I don’t usually shave my leg hair, because most of the time, I simply forget, and when I do wear skirts/dresses, I wear sheer tights. I believe shaving leg hair is a subjective decision for every lady. Smooth legs is definitely better but don’t be pressured to shave it, especially if your leg hair doesn’t grow out too much.

Another tip that is the most forgettable, yet so important to your facial looks, is eyebrow grooming and facial hair removal. Consider purchasing an eyebrow brush and shaver to groom your brows and shave upper lip hair. It only takes 10 minutes max. every once in a while and it’s worth it. Well-shaped eyebrows and smooth upper lip frame your face and make you look presentable, even when you don’t have makeup on.

When applying makeup, use powders and foundation creams that match your skin tone. There is nothing so unpolished as having a face that is a shade lighter or darker than your neck.

Also, makeup should be something used to enhance your natural beauty, and not cover it. That being said, I am not a fan of false eyelashes, botox, and similar cosmetic alterations to the face. It changes your natural look and makes you seem like a doll. Please use makeup in moderation. Ideally, it should be light, and people should still be able to recognize it’s you by the time you’re done applying it. As a guide, powder, concealer, lipstick, and mascara are moderate. However, I’m sure this is flexible and people can work around whatever they prefer. In the end, it should be moderate. Regular heavy makeup is a class killer.

Finally, your hands and nails should look polished. Endeavour to moisturize your hands often, to leave them soft. If you engage in a job or hobby that requires dirty hands, no fuss. However, make sure that when not engaging in those activities, your hands are clean and moisturized. Keep your nails short, or filed if they’re long. If you manicure your nails, make sure to take them out when they start chipping. Chipped nails are not classy.

Of course, I could go on. It’s an endless list of advice, but, again, the basics are usually enough to enhance your look. Don’t underestimate them.

Attire and Countenance

I already made a huge conversation about presenting yourself in refined manners when I wrote about ‘looks and apparel‘ and ‘character and mannerisms‘. However, providing more practical guides is what this section is meant for:

When it comes to your clothing, the first rule of thumb is to always make sure that what you wear daily is clean. Clean underwear and clean clothes may not be noticed by people you interact with daily, but that spot behind your collar or that stain on your shirt that you’re hiding with an overall sweater can be noticed by you. And it matters, because it affects your self-esteem and confidence.

In a similar way, endeavor to grow the habit of mending your clothes. If you do not know how to sew, consider learning the basics, or if you’re not interested, you can always take your clothes to friends, family, or a tailor to stitch them up when they need mending. The rule is that no matter what, do not wear torn clothes in any way. It makes you come off as unkempt, even if the clothes are clean.

The same advice applies to pet hair or lint on your clothes. People do not usually notice lint on your clothing, unless it’s really bad, however, for your self-confidence, it is advisable to remove lint and pet hair from your clothes as frequently as is required. This practice makes your clothes look brand new and refines your look too.

Need I talk about ironing? I know. Ironing is that dreaded thing you have to do every morning lest you wear a rumpled shirt or skirt to work. But, hasn’t technology made it so easy to get wrinkles out of our clothes? In the old days, it was a coal iron that was used, now we have electronic steamers and crease releaser sprays that we can easily glide down our clothes to straighten them. I’d say go the extra mile to straighten your clothes when they need to be. Don’t underestimate how classless wrinkled clothing looks.

Endeavor to wear only clothing pieces that fit your form and skin color. This will literally make or break your style, depending on how you go about it. You may require a bit of trial-and-error tests and some research to know what types of clothing and accessories would go with your body shape and skin color. It is essential to master this tip, as it will make you look always in style, even if you’re wearing casual. For a start, consider your body shape and skin color palette. There are tons of tests for it online. When that is figured out, research the appropriate types of tops, skirts, shirts, dresses, shoes, etc. that fit you. Your labor will not be in vain. Trust me.

To look classy, avoid heavily ripped jeans, androgynous clothing, torn clothes that are marketed as trendy, low-quality fast fashion, etc. I have seldom come across someone wearing those and thought they looked polished. I will admit that I have some pieces of clothing from some fast-fashion stores, but those are the rare good quality pieces that I consider before adding to my wardrobe. Usually, I try to stay away from fast-fashion trends.

Try to have a type of clothing you wear for every occasion in life. Whether it’s sporting, recreation, school, work, home, etc. Wearing yoga pants or sweatpants to every single thing is not advisable. The general rule is to look presentable at everything you do, even if you’re just taking a trip to the grocers, or lounging at home.

Practice good posture. Bad posture kills your style, even if you do everything above. If you are a person who works a lot on the computer, like me, remind yourself to sit up straight when working. Your shoulders should be thrown back. The same applies to when you’re standing or walking. It’s easy to forget sometimes to stand or sit up straight, but every time you notice you’re in a bad posture, correct it, and with time, you’ll get used to it.

Avoid heavy mannerisms, in action or words. Again, even if you’re perpetually presentable, bad attitude could throw all your efforts out the window. Practice courtesy, bright smiles, gentle voice, and mannerisms. You don’t have to change the way your voice sounds. However, don’t shout in normal conversation or use masculine mannerisms, slang, curse words, etc.

The bottom line.

As you can see, grooming encompasses a whole lot more than what it sounds like. It covers not just your external looks, but your behavior, and lifestyle choices. That being said, the more you begin to cultivate grooming habits, the more you feel better about yourself and the way you interact with society. People will also see you differently, and respect you. The many tiny things you do to look polished will form an aura of magnificence around you. The best part is that at some point, you won’t even have to try to be elegant. It’ll come off effortlessly.

That friends, is a big part of feminine mystique.

I am still learning a lot and I’m definitely not an A-grader on everything I have just said. But, I would love to grow on this journey with you! Are you involved in any grooming habits? Let me know!