DREAMS OF TOMORROW

Once upon a midsummer, I worked in a nursing home as a dining attendant, and one evening, I served dessert after dinner. With a tray full of sweeties, I approached a vibrant old lady and asked her what she would like. In reply, she smiled and said, “A spoonful of everything!” At that moment, I realized I also wanted a spoonful of everything—not only of dessert but of life.

Sometimes, I feel like Maria Von Trapp, as portrayed by Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music film (1965), hopping from hill to valley, perpetually restless with the ache to experience the beauty of life. One moment, my heart settles on a particular occupation, and in the next, it flies to another desire. Even during the scarce times that I’m content, humming at the back of my mind is the dream of a thousand more things I could do. A thousand more things I could be… A million dreams do keep me awake.

I have never really related this side of my personality, mostly because I often sound like a bird chirping mindlessly whenever I speak of it. At least, I think I do. After much contemplation, I have reckoned that this feverish phenomenon may be obviously attributed to the thing they call youthful exuberance.

Why do the young dream dreams?

It only makes sense. Youthful agility and vibrance ignite a desire to fulfill destiny in oneself and society. Unfortunately, when I look around me, I see a lot of youthful exuberance wasted on rubbish things. Things that give pleasure to the body, but not to the soul. The reason why the young dream dreams is because, in coming of age, a new consciousness is arisen in their hearts by the One who made them, to think of the things that are above, not the things that are below. So, they experience this fever of the soul to do something to reach that destiny. Unfortunately, I have looked for a cure to this fever in all the wrong things: Excessive media, bad books, television, and the like. It took me a long time to realize that all of those earthly things do nothing but make one more frustrated with life. It ignites the fever, instead of curing it. This is something I still realize every day, whenever I try to fill my heart with perishable pleasures.

So, how can one use this exuberance the right way, to change the world, in a real sense? With time, I have realized a few things that help tame the fever. They are not cures, but they surely tame the fever.

The realization that you cannot do everything. At least, not at once.

I don’t know about you, but I have a compulsion to do everything there is to be done. I am one to look microscopically into my to-do list, ticking off one box after another of stuff to do. Even the most insignificant things. The sight of unread messages and emails in my inbox; books I have bought but have not opened; and undone projects in my planner, all make my hair stand up. My tendency towards perfectionism has indeed been efficient in making me get work done when it has to be done. However, perfectionism has not been so helpful in calming my brain, amidst the one million things I wish to do or become.

Not only has this given me stress one too many times, it’s made every thing I do incomplete and inefficient.

So, as a remedy to this plight, I resolve to take small possible steps at a time. I may not accomplish everything quickly, but I will surely accomplish. If I desire to learn knitting, sowing, the French language, cooking, baking… I learn them, one or two at a time. In the end, all of those wishes may or may not be fulfilled, however, I will be able to rest in the comfort that I spent time fulfilling the ones I could.

There is this quote I once found that says, “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

Likewise, I try to make haste slowly. Things will be done, but perhaps not in the rushing rhythm of the White Rabbit, constantly out of time.

The realization that you have time to accomplish.

Unlike the White Rabbit, we have plenty of time, and we will never be late if we make good use of the time we have.

Someone like me often worries about the ability to accomplish all the demands of youthful desires before I ‘settle down’. However, come to think of it, there is no such thing as ‘settling down’, in the real sense of the phrase. Perhaps, getting married, having children may slow down ones life, but it doesn’t bring it to a halt. There will still be time to accomplish, and what’s more is that you get to share your accomplishments with more and more people as life goes on. The most important thing I had to realize was that as long as I had time now, now was the time to accomplish, no matter how small. Now is all one should think of, in this respect.

Fearing about the future and how much time you really have to accomplish is a waste of time. Firstly, because the future is an unknown world. Second, you can never be sure of your earthly existence in this future you think about. Third, worrying about how much time you have to fulfill your desires only wastes the precious present.

Again, now is what matters. Do what you can do now. When you do that, your work does not only become precious, it becomes sanctified, because God who lives in an eternal present, only cares about now.

The realization that chasing vain knowledge only brings one to ruin.

I recently finished reading Victor Hugo’s tragic novel, ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’, and among a myriad of thoughts about life that have been swimming in my head since then, a question keeps coming to me: How did Claude Frollo go from an intellectual ‘saint’ to a reprobate priest, driven by lust to do many abhorrent things? The answer to this question is quite vague because Claude Frollo is a fictional character. Moreover, nobody except God can see into the soul of an individual. However, there is one lesson I learned from Frollo’s character and demise, and it is that: If one allows knowledge to puff them up, even in the presence of God, the person becomes a very unlikeable individual. Have you not ever heard that pride comes before a fall?

When one is young, agile, and accomplished, it is very easy to see the world revolve around them. The knowledge that is supposed to be loved, because it is truth, now becomes a source of haughtiness. One begins to see himself above sin and faults; look down on others; judge people who seem less fulfilled; and study only for the sake of knowing. Even if the desire one seeks may be good in itself, that does not erase a bad or imperfect motive.

Knowledge is good, but it is important to recognize that even if we had all the knowledge the earth contained, our intelligence would be as a drop of water in the ocean of God’s knowledge. Do not be idle, endeavour to learn and experience new things everyday, however, it must be an enjoyable and humble process.

That way, you can use whatever you know and whatever skill you acquire to help yourself and the society you live in. More importantly, by virtue of that knowledge, you can know and love God more in the things he has kept in store for you.

The realization that this desire to know is really a desire to know God.

 And in the end, only God can satisfy that desire. No amount of knowledge, experience or skill you acquire can satisfy the need to know, experience, and love God.

Youthful exuberance is energy to know, love, and serve God while you are still alive. So, please… Do well not to waste it.

So,

The next time you feel the urge to travel the world, write a debut book, have a 100 children, and so on… Nurture that feeling, put it into practice, and use it for good.

And to all the women out there, young and old, you can use whatever energy you’ve got to change the world uniquely, by your feminine genius. From raising a single child to pioneering charity aids, no work is too small or big. No desire is too insignificant or ambitious.

Do the good work, while you yet have the energy to draw breath. May God give us all we need to do so…

Do you experience youthful exuberance too? In what way have you or have you not put it into good use? It’ll be lovely to get your insight!

Au revoir,

Christine.