DREAMS OF TOMORROW

In my world, when life throws you stress, keep calm and make home…

Since I was a child, there has always been something therapeutic for me about cooking over the kitchen countertop, talking to a friend over a cup of tea, mending worn-out socks, reading a book by a sunset window, or taking a long walk/drive through quiet landscapes. Being a low-energy person who’s easily tired out by the most inconspicuous stress, it didn’t take me long in life to figure out that perhaps Bilbo Baggins’ hobbit lifestyle would suit me very well.

The reputation of the word ‘homemaking’ has had some tomatoes thrown at it in recent years. However, when most people say they love simple living, homemaking is the next word in the dictionary, though they may fear to utter it. This article will not be arguing “homemaking vs career”, because, for one, there is already enough of that argument in the public space.

And two, homemaking is a career, if one chooses to make it so. Many do and wish to do so.

But, what is so alluring about this path that I, along with many women, choose to follow it? 

The desire to be home and to make home.

My attachment and love for home are far more rooted in a desire to belong than that of being alone, despite the fact that I’m an introvert. Often, people imagine homemakers love to be lonely, and if some homemakers really do, I don’t. My biggest fear in life is, in fact, loneliness.

Still, home offers a sense of familiarity. Every nook and cranny of my place seems to open its arms in a welcoming embrace whenever I step in after a day’s work or study. And whenever I am away, my mind often goes back to home. I never truly feel at peace, except when I am at home, and when I am making home.

Since I am currently far away from family because of college, sometimes, all home seems to me is the sweet normality of my kinspeople and culture. However, when I cannot make that possible, my therapeutic for an aching heart, is another more foundational home: the sacred heart of Christ. Then when I’ve had recourse to that, I find no other solace than staying home (my dormitory or apartment), and making home, often with a few friends that are also home to me.

This temperament is what makes me less inclined to a fast-paced world, where things are always changing, and where things are always unstable. My intense desire for security often pulls my heart back to home, where things do not quickly pass away, and I am never truly happy unless I am there. In fact, I don’t see a happier future for me than home -be it a home of bricks and mortar, or of family, close friends, children, God, etc.

Now, why has it become a crime to desire such things?

The flexibility of the task.

Somebody may read the above and think to herself, “What fluffy poppycock!” Well, I had no other means of explaining it than sounding like a maiden lost in the clouds.

Substantially, the simple life of being home is the one I’ve considered the most adventurous. Because there is little constraint on time and energy, put on by the demands of a conventional job, one has the freedom to do whatever one pleases with her day. Moreover, for someone like me, who is often exhausted by a monotonous job (especially one that does not require the heart to love), I see simple living as the ticket to embark on the boat of various endeavors that I would never dream of trying were I at a specific location all day. If I wish to be a writer, an artist, a baker, or whatever else there is out there, all I have to do is map out my plan to learn and then embark on it.

I know that when the children start coming, time and energy as a homemaker may dwindle, however, it must not extinguish the desire to learn new things, and what’s more, is that one can bring her children to join on such journeys. Even if the life of the homemaker is still reduced to a ‘daily routine’, at least, it would be one where the heart is being exercised to love.

No walk of life is easy. One has to learn to choose their battles. Simple living has its own angles of boredom and business, but it’s one I’m excited to undertake.

The desire to make society.

William Ross Wallace once said, ” The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

I certainly do not yet have a cradle bearing a child, but in a deeper sense, my desire to make home is truly a desire to make society. I’ve heard enough about success in commercial employment, and have grown bored of it. Though, career success is definitely important to a society’s economic structure, what’s more important is the hearts and minds of the individuals involved in the society.

Is it not from home that a sound will is formed in an individual? Is not most of the work of salvation begun and ended within the quiet soothing walls of a loving house? Sometimes, one can help society much more by making a functional home than by succeeding in any conventional career. And I believe I am one such person.

I believe in the ability to make a home because there are people with aching hearts seeking a place to lay their weary heads. I believe that my creating or helping a community with my craft can change the world faster than if I were an employee. I believe that I must first find my happiness as a person before I can share it with society. And my happiness is home. My happiness is in a simple life of love, sacrifice, and humble craftsmanship.

And I believe it is a worthy desire if that is your happiness too.

The desire to cherish life.

I just finished reading ‘Mere Christianity’ by C.S. Lewis, and my last take-home message from his words was to live life by giving it away. Your life is not truly yours if you do not give it away to the service of God and your neighbor. Your heart is not truly yours unless you let it be broken in the process of loving.

For me, to cherish life is to live it slowly. And thereby, I can pay minute attention to my needs and the needs of my neighbor. This may look different for everybody, but the key to a happy charitable life is to be happy first. Cherish your life first. Then, it will be easy to make others cherish theirs. The simplest way is to slow down and enjoy the blessings given to you daily. And no matter the walk of life, one must learn to look above material successes to be able to do that.

As Thorin Oakenshield said in The Hobbit’s tale, ” If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

So, what am I getting at?

First, live a life you can cherish, before attempting to make the world happy. And often, in my case, I see no other life I can cherish than the simple life of a homemaker.

What about you? What is your picture of a happy life? Do you love a simple quiet abode or do you feel called to minister in the wild world? I would love to know!

Au revoir,

Christine.