DREAMS OF TOMORROW

“A woman’s heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her.” -C.S. Lewis.

The most trying problem of our times is that we do not know God. Or worse, that we think we know God. I suppose that for the majority of mankind, the latter is the case. As we increasingly move away from the truth of God’s existence and the consequences thereof, we begin to feel a sort of meaninglessness to life. Nowadays, the meaning of life is usually understood as a profession of ideology. But what did it mean in the days of old, when, for the common man, meaning in life was instead a profession of religion? This particular question is what some of today’s youth are going back to examine.

Today, we are beginning to ask, ‘ What did grandpa and grandma do in their free time?’ And we ask this because the abundance of stimulation from the internet isn’t working. The endless stream of noise from podcasts and Spotify music isn’t working. The late nights scrolling through TikTok and binge-watching Netflix aren’t working. Not even activism for climate change, world peace, and equity is enough to give us purpose. Because it’s not really the evils outside that torment us. It’s the void within. The chest is empty, and it’s empty of that Thing that makes everything make sense. The Thing that can solve all our crises. That Infinite Being that gives our petty life endeavours that sense of… je ne sais quoi?

Without that, there is a sense of purposelessness, because in the end, we shall leave this world. So what gives? What’s the point? What is the meaning of life?

In this quest to find the answer, many have journeyed through hills and valleys of an intellectual and emotional adventure. An adventure that takes them out of this soft ‘couch-potato’ world and puts them in the world of moral and philosophical dragons, swords, dungeons, and fire -a world where there are actual stakes involved. A world where there is -for once- a serious question of life and death. A world with that sweet, sweet meaning. Exciting, isn’t it?

But this adventure requires a lot of reading and learning. And a good dose of facts. Not frequent feelings are involved, except the feeling that you’ve finally found something with grit.

It becomes exhilarating and extremely dopamine-filling… until you happen to be a woman on this journey. And soon, you find that ‘Oh! perhaps, these classical idea-thing is not for me. I must remember that it used to be a man’s world’, ‘And going back means going back from progress, isn’t it?’,  ‘It has to be, because that’s what some of my man-friends on this journey are saying’…

I have similar questions, girl. And what’s more is: Are we still on that same journey to classical ideals? Or have we derailed to a backward and muddy road, in the name of seeking meaning? What are even classical ideals?

The Quest for Truth

Amidst all that awesome aesthetic of tweed shirts, pencil in hair, Mary Jane shoes, and dark leatherbound books, the quest to examine the classics is a quest for Truth. In other words, what did human beings do (or didn’t do) in the collective past that got or deprived them of that happy life of flourishing, as Aristotle described it?

Whether we like it or not, life is informed by experiences and cautionary tales. Since we cannot look into the future, we look into the past and see what worked or didn’t work. Human nature is the same since the fall of man -we are broken, and in need of God. However, this is a concept that has been lost in our age; therefore, it’s logical that our age has no solution for it other than self-care and activism. But what if self-care and activism don’t work? How did other citizens of the human race deal with brokenness, within themselves and without? To answer that question, many are now looking to the past, not to copy it verbatim, but to learn a cautionary tale.

Problems With The Quest for Truth

Except that for some, learning has grown into copying. And when you copy, you translate not only the good parts of something, but also the bad. This might be a shock to some: Not all ideas of the past are good. We’ve had bloody revolutions, horrific customs, and devilish heresies plaguing human beings for many years. But just because they come from the past, doesn’t mean that they are good. There’s a reason they’ve all changed -and it should remain so.

This problem of copying constitutes one side of a coin. But if you flip the coin, you find people who are looking into traditional ideas not to copy, but to learn. That is all good and praiseworthy; however, even there, danger exists. The type of danger St. John Henry Newman termed as a danger of accomplishments. If care is not taken, the quest for Truth can reduce itself to aesthetics and spectacles -to nothing but Pinterest mood boards of tweed blazers, dark academia books, and polished shoes. It will make you appear as something you are not -that is, an impostor. You will begin to dress like a scholar while knowing nothing about life. You might even begin to read about tales of St. George, Queen Esther, or Aslan, yet your way of life says nothing about those things you’ve read. People could hardly tell because your actions do not align with the noble characters in those books. Because your accomplishments have yielded no fruit. Yes, you talk a good deal about them. But the point is you don’t live them.

With all these comes the third problem: That the quest for Truth is starting to disenchant women. The reasons for this problem are many, and some of it has to do with the two phenomena just described above. It’s important to discuss this particular problem, because if the quest for Truth loses its women, the quest for Truth ceases to be a quest.

Immediately.

And here’s why.

The Subject of Women

Ever since God said ‘Let there be light’, there has been a lot of talk about women in the cosmos. What’s more is that it’s the kind of talk that has brought -and continues to bring- serious consequences, for good or for bad.

Firstly, let’s go back to the start. Christian tradition has it that in the beginning, Lucifer (now known as Satan) and the rest of the bad angels dismissed themselves from God’s service on account of a woman. That woman is whom Christians now venerate today as The Mother of God -whose veneration has shaped the lives and customs of the whole of Western civilization. And throughout history, women have been sung and written about, painted on portraits, and carved onto the hearts of the people they impacted -in whatever way, small or big. Even some major social events and revolutions have had the topic of women as the center of their purpose. The most notable being the suffragettes, the feminist movement, and the sexual revolution. Irrespective of the effects of these movements and others, it is quite clear that women, even in a ‘man’s world’, hold a great deal of importance. I would even say that we hold the greatest deal of importance.

The best image to give of this is Homer’s famous epic about a decade-long war (i.e., the Trojan War), which had as the center of its conflict, a woman named Helen of Troy.

So you see, women matter. We hold the key to societal direction. Wherever we go, society follows. It seems that while the men have been leading the world, women have been leading hearts. And that’s why there’s been much talk about women. If you can get to the woman, you can get to the man and child. It’s an age-old wisdom that even the devil has been using for his own evil devices. He began in the Garden of Eden, and he’s been doing it for many centuries right under our very noses.

Understanding this is important for seeing what makes women so averse to classical ideals. But first, it might be necessary to learn a little philosophy…

The Essence of Woman

Essence, as described by St. Thomas Aquinas, is what a thing is. All essence is derived from God, who is Existence itself. Therefore, to hate yourself (your essence, that is) is to hate God. Further, to hate yourself is to deprive yourself of God, out of this hatred for God. In this sense, the devils are said to have a perfect self-hatred. Having that, they constantly seek to instill self-hatred in the hearts of humans.

Since we are talking about women, let’s look at feminism. Ah, the one buzzword today that can either console or aggravate women. But since I am a woman, I think I have a right to say what I will about this topic.

To put it sharply: Feminism made me hate myself. It still does. It makes me hate my essence -my womanhood. Sure, it has made society realize some awesome things about women, but when a certain philosophy begins to tell me that my womanhood and femininity are just a synonym for weakness and frivolity, I can do nothing but hate myself for being a woman. In my opinion, feminism is doing the exact same thing that misogyny did to women in the past: It’s putting us, girls, in a box. This time, it’s just another box, perhaps functionally bigger and more spacious. But still a box.

Moreover, when you begin hating yourself, you begin to see God in a not-so-benevolent light. You feel alienated. You see the past as nothing but a pile of oppression with nothing worthwhile to teach you. You remain crouched in Plato’s cave of darkness and shadows, while thinking that you are in a state of enlightenment and empowerment.

Sad, isn’t it? But what if you come out? Then, the journey will begin -the quest for Truth. But even on that path lies many perils -such that I have and continue to personally battled with.

For instance…

The Impostors in Shining Armour

Case study:

The journey to Truth begins. You, a woman, start to understand your essence and role in the world. Sometimes, there are difficulties, but He brings you through. The more you go, the more you perceive His love for you.

But soon, you meet fellow travellers. Some of them are men, seemingly in shining armour. They look like gents and speak like gents, and the more you see them, the more you’re inclined to let go of your prejudices about men. You’re all brothers and sisters, right? Why not? Except that, after a long time, you notice that some of them are not on the same page with you. They’re not even reading the same book. You’re reading stuff about Christian virtue and Marian devotion. While some of them are reading ideology from the red-pill manosphere.

Then you start to realize: These are not men, because that would be an insult to the gentility and wisdom of Our Lord. These are impostors. Impostors in shining armour. Suddenly, the road that was so bright becomes dark. You feel scared being a woman on that road. You’re not even sure where you’re headed any longer. You begin to imagine that Plato’s cave was better. You begin to fear that instead of an ascent up the hill of God, you’re descending, with these people in shining armour, to the valley of self-hatred in another form.

Sound familiar, ladies?

To some of us women who are going back and studying our heritage and traditions, it can sometimes become even more difficult to understand God’s given role for us. Because the past wasn’t perfect. It muddled many things up. There were many good principles taken too far. And when those imperfect aspects should be condemned, we have fellow ‘traditionalists’ commending them and fantasizing about them as things that should return to our modern age.

What’s worse is that we sometimes see our very own species supporting these ideas. That is, we see women, too, trying to copy the past word for word, believing it to be God’s will.

Suddenly, women lose hope for this quest for Truth. We reach the mid-point, and we stop, thinking that the journey was a mistake. ‘As moderners, we’ve progressed away from the past for a reason, right?’, ‘So, why go back?’

But, hold on. The accurate question isn’t ‘Why go back?’. If that’s what people are asking, we’ve lost the plot. We were never meant to go back. That’s not the destination. Going back was just a path to the main road.

We’ve got to realize that the quest for Truth isn’t about going back. It’s about going up.

The Journey Up the Ragged Hill.

After scaling through self-hatred, identity-discovery, impostors in shining armour, and a mid-point crisis, some women make it to realizing the real path, which is the upward hill. Not the muddy plain to the past, but the ragged hill to Truth.

Nonetheless, it’s an uphill battle. With spikes and thorns. Nobody said it was going to be easy. And what’s worse is that, on this road, there are no knights in shining armour to save the damsel in distress. Not even fake ones.

At this point, we now have two enemies: The worldly-wise devil, telling us to get down and embrace self-hatred; and the same impostors, telling us that the road is not up, but backwards.

We are so assailed by these two enemies that we reach a point where womanhood (our essence) becomes confusing. You then begin to ask, ‘ What is a woman?’, ‘ What does it mean?’, ‘ Who is right about women?’, ‘The past or the present?’

Some women, at this moment, give up the quest for Truth. It makes no sense, and I don’t blame them for seeing it that way. To them, relativism becomes the best answer: Anything goes. So, they get down from the upward ragged hill and return to Plato’s dark cave, where they once again find their unhappy community.

End of story.

The Resolution.

So, the moral lesson is that women end up in this predicament of wanting to know themselves, failing to know themselves, and returning to not knowing themselves. A vicious cycle, isn’t it?

But to put it in a less literary sense, the reason that women find it harder on the quest for Truth is:

First: Popular society does not tell us the truth about women. Second: Traditional circles often misinterpret the truth about women or make the past with its atrocities seem like a complete utopia, when it was not. Third: People learning from the past reduce their lessons to ‘shining armours’ with no real consequences on their modern lives. They become impostors, and it’s no injustice that they’re often recognized as hypocrites. They contribute to the confusion. Fourth: Even when all is good, self-doubt and current societal norms and structures do not make living differently easy. Ideas about God and His commands are the most unpopular trend today. And if everyone is running towards a cliff, to run away from it is to look stupid, even if you’re doing a sensible thing. Fifth: Women on this quest for Truth are often alone or misled. They often have no guiding star or tangible example to look up to. After a while of looking for the virtuous version of Taylor Swift, one gets tired, don’t you think? Moreover, since these traditional circles are mostly male-dominated or more like a gent’s club, women often feel that the way to go is out.

But again,

The way to go isn’t out or forward. It isn’t back either.

It’s up -go up the mountain of God.

Remember, women, where ever you go, society follows. If most of the men are not ascending, but are choosing the easy flat plain to the past, go up. You have a true Knight in shining armour to guide you, and He never fails to be a gentleman. You also have a true Mother to guide you, and she alone can show you how to be a real virtuous lady.

Women, climb up that mount, so that as Dante was inspired by his beloved Beatrice to go up, so will the men stop their delaying and be inspired too. The scent of your virtue will be a wakening call for them to man up. As you look on God, they will look on you.

And while on this journey, remember that it’s not about politics. Let’s not make the same mistake. Yes, it’s not a man’s world. But it’s not a woman’s world either. It’s God’s world. The more we realize that, the better able we’ll be to stick together in our respective roles -roles equal in dignity but different in mode.

And… that’s why women are less attracted to classical ideals than men. Few of us are looking up. Few of us are seeking virtue. The goal isn’t classical ideals. The goal is Heaven.

May we all reach there and be happy for good. Till next time.

” When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.

-Venerable Fulton J. Sheen.

Au revoir,

Christine.