Eleanor Roosevelt once said that,
“A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
That’s right.
It shouldn’t surprise anyone that a woman’s ladyship is tested as soon as she steps into the rat race of surviving in the 21st century. Difficult situations in life are inevitable. Hardships and hustling are a huge part of what forms human character and defines the human condition. But for a woman trying to regulate her endlessly wiring brain, balancing survival and femininity can oftentimes seem like untangling a ball of yarn.
That’s one reason why slow living, hygge, and cozy core trends are rising in social media and pop culture today. There are now many Instagram, Pinterest, Tiktok, and Substack accounts depicting aesthetics like picturesque cottage lifestyles; comfortable cafes; smart-phone-and-TV-free living rooms adorned with quilts, book shelfs, and board games; homemade cinnamon buns and pumpkin spice lattes; homesteading barns; comfy bookshops; rainy days spent drinking hot cocoa while tucked under a cotton bedsheet, etcetera… It appears that many people are getting fed up with the hustle-and-bustle culture of modern life, seeking to regain a slower, quieter, and more peaceful pace to their days. And that is good. In fact, it is important to consider this when talking about femininity:
Navigating femininity in the middle of a hustle life means nothing but slowing down, and there are four main areas you might want to consider here.
- Occupation: Emotional burnout from work is real.
I am now working my first ever full-time position. In other words, I have officially gone into the world, started earning my own money, and begun fending for myself in a way I have never done before. Many early professionals would agree that something as simple as depending on income from a regular 21st-century job gives one new perspectives.
For one, the modern professional world is inhabited by people from all walks of life, and naturally, this dynamic enables everyone to learn how life is in different circumstances. While interacting in the office, the young and old learn from each other, and so do the rich and poor; the top boss and underdog; the ambitious and content; the married and unmarried; experienced and inexperienced; male and female; native and foreigner… so on, so forth. Tips about life constantly jump between these groups amidst the chaos of working hours, and having now experienced it, it is indeed a wonderful thing. Since professional life is a place where one doesn’t choose friends or co-workers, one is forced to mingle, broaden one’s world, and see that one’s experience is not isolated but part of that big thing people call the circle of life.
However, all benefits come with a cost. Despite how amazing it is to bond with your colleagues in such a way that your workplace becomes one large family unit, it’s also taxing to maintain professional boundaries when things start to feel too familiar.
Living the friendly competitiveness of the professional world is a gamble, a concern that many professionals do share. In my own life, I’m used to making friends with no corporate or networking pretence as my motive; or to being my true self around friends without having to think of how my behaviour will impact their professional view of me. I’m also used to meeting new people without having our friendship turn into business mode at the next conference call. My friends, the corporate family can demand a ton from you while giving little in return… but there’s nothing one can do about it. Life must go on, and stomachs must be fed, after all.
It doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t clean bruises from those busy and emotionally taxing days. Some people lose themselves at work and find themselves again at downtime. If you can’t leave the rat race, at least you can slow down a little. You can reconnect with normal friends (which most times are work friends too); do things you love on your days off; rest; reflect; and recharge however you see fit.
Here, there is no guideline. But while you’re recharging, you might want to look at your calendar.
What month of the year is it?
2. Nature and Culture: Season-syncing is gold.
Autumn is now upon us, and as usual, social media is flooded with season-inspired posts on how to live fall in a cozy and meaningful way. In the realm of season-syncing, everybody has something to say. One account advises treats to bake during autumn, whereas another advises what to do during a proper spring clean. It’s great that people are in tune with seasonal changes and aware of how adapting to them can regulate our physical and mental health throughout the year.
Therefore, you must be guessing I’m about to say what everybody else is saying, but I’m not here to give you another recipe or recommend one more hearty movie-list.
Just live. Be in touch with your seasonal calendars and the ways in which the changes in daylight and weather can affect your wellbeing. Adjust your schedules to them. Celebrate as much as you can the major seasonal holidays as they come by, and soak yourself in customs that may be original to your surroundings, religion, or tradition.
Being a Catholic, I enjoy the Ember months. They are full of religious traditions specific to the season, and living them has been one of my greatest joys so far. If there’s one thing I know, season-syncing is one of the best ways to lower stress because it helps you slow down to reconnect with yourself, family, friends, nature, society, and culture. However, in the midst of all that, remember that a single day of rest is better than a thousand days of events and activities. There’s a difference between season-syncing and doing a bunch of things to showcase in a thirty-second Instagram reel.
Balance is key. Ultimately, the goal is to slow down that hamster wheel, and whatever it may look like to you this season, by all means, do it.
3. Lifestyle: A long-term modification plan is what you need.
Get-away. Retreat. Another job. Work from home. Spouse. Family. Children. Move away…
Everyone has a game-changing plan that they look forward to. Everyone has a midpoint in their life they’re working towards. If you’re a lady in a hamster wheel and you want to get off, you should have some plan to do so too, however insignificant that plan may seem to you now.
An elaborate restructuring of one’s current life would, of course, take time. Therefore, it’s important to consider the most effective lifestyle or situational modifications that can lessen the rat-race hours for you. Sometimes, it means a different job, a couple of days away, or maybe a simple tweak to your schedule. It is always good to consider the pros and cons, give time for your decision to settle, and calmly plan towards whatever change you want to bring into your life.
Surely, not all desired change is possible. Many times, one wants something that is truly out of reach due to circumstances. What I find helpful is removing as many stressors from your current routine as possible. With or without a long-term change, micro-modifications to reduce stress always count.
I should also add that while at it, remember you are not meant to be alone. Find someone with an understanding heart to share your hopes and dreams with.
4. Relationships: Communicating with people that matter is the best medicine.
The trope of the independent island woman is slowly losing steam, and for good reason.
People are now starting to remember that indeed, no (wo)man is an island. We all need a strong network of people that share our interests and belief systems, and women are not exempt from having that desire. In fact, being mainly heart-centered, women tend to find life in forming support groups, being vulnerable within those groups, and sharing their daily experiences with people who lend a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on.
To learn the art of inner strength and femininity, surround yourself with women who either model that in your life or are seeking the same thing. Tap into your familial and social circles. Even branch out, if you need to. This age of internet and social media provides us with resources to connect and interact with individuals around and across the globe, and if there’s one benefit that will bring to your life, let it lead you to women who model timeless femininity in this fast-paced world. Please check out my Resources page in the menu to get some awesome recommendations.
Ultimately, the goal here is to find and grow relationships that will support you, while giving you room to support other women too. It isn’t easy at first, but personally, I can attest that the fruits one bears from such labours are more than abundant.
In conclusion,
This was a short conversation, but I hope it inspires you. I have nothing more to say but to keep calm and slow down.
Till next time…
Bye bye,
Christine.
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